Oh, crap

You know, this may have been something that popped up in your consciousness before, but it rarely makes landfall on my own shoreline of rational expectations. I might die.

My life has been one string of near misses after another. What if my luck is out? What if it's out in June?

Is there any God waiting to meet me? I see now why poor people have always believed in religions. When your situation is tenuous, the stakes are pretty high. I have my own religion that is loosely based on one or two principles of a possible afterlife, but it isn't enough to calm my worried mind. At the very least I might luck out and something of me will make it into the rocks some day out there, further on up the road.

When I'm back there, again, what if I die? Will all my convictions die with me, bleeding out of me with my blood while I just grow cold and forgetful until enough blood leaves my brain that all goes black? Who will feel like I do, or want justice the way I do?

I have no children. Nothing of me will be left but pointless Internet ramblings slowly waiting on my credit card to quit paying server fees. Besides some memories, lionized in the minds of those who will not be subject to my objectivity, I leave this world nothing. I will just go away.

This is all assuming that the unlikely happens, of course. I'm just worried that no one else will ever see the World that I see ever again. It deserves it, I think.

Oh well.