Fuck a Lexus

I hate dumb hot chicks. They're like V6 Cameros. Sure they look good cruising around, but they just don't got it when your put your foot in them. Why is this important? By way of explanation:

A fucking Camero can lick my crack. All chromed up like some two dollar whore in Fresno who won't leave you alone because you're a white guy broke down on the wrong side of King's Ave. That shit is annoying. Shit, give me one of them Road Runners. Ass like a ton of bricks, nose like a shovel, hub caps off the county trucks, that shit is like that librarian chick with the horn rim glasses and the skirt down to her knees. She will destroy a Camero. Yeah, she ain't covered in chrome and metal flake paint, but she's got some hardware that will ruin your shit.

Yeah, give me a Galaxie. Let me get a hold of that 390 HP split-head V8 with the high rise cam and the Holley pushing out four barrels of "this is the best damn country on Earth." I want that Gallie talking back. Take your "smooth throttle response" and "responsible torque curve" and shove it up your well formed ass. I want to feel the throttle arm moving and the cable sliding in its housing. I want to feel that power valve kick over and those back two barrels of oxygen and love and gasoline explode into the ports of the manifold.

I want to feel the pistons, that huge bored out beast of hell, come up and strike top dead center. I want to feel the power stroke live and die in the veins of physical reality. I want to experience that piston defying metallurgical limits to return on its charger of hot rolled steel. Let me hear the explosion of spent gas rocketing to its cooling doom out the valve and through a set of headers. Then I want to hear the cylinder reborn hard. I want to hear the suction from the valves through a carburetor, pissed off and starving.

Fuck your hot chick with her fuel injection and 20 inch wheels. I want my girl complicated and finicky about how I treat her, not about what I feed her. Take that Lexus and show it off to your office buddies. I'll be the one on the line. In the tubbed out flat black Ford. I prowl after your Lexus. I'll race you for pinks. And that pink slip you treasure will be mine. We'll go gun for gun. You can't appreciate my tastes. Unlike you, I can keep that ass on the ground. I can keep that dragon breathing fire. I don't need a hot PROM to tell my engine what to do. She does as she pleases.

And she pleases me. Only because I know how to work her.