A brief snippet

Are you drunk?

Um, yeah, but I can explain.

It's eight in the morning.

That is correct. I, however, just got off work a little while ago. This is my evening drinking.

Even so, it's only Tuesday..um, Monday I mean. For you, anyway. It's Monday, right?

So judgemental with nary a glimpse into my life to assume your moral superiority.

It's sort of my job, asshole.

It is? Who put you in charge of this boat?

Technically, I am an imalgam of your parents, society, various authority figures, Petty Officer Swain, AO1 Parker, etc.

Amalgam, you mean. Kind of an odd genesis for an asshole like yourself, don't you think?

Well, I am your conscience, I have my work to do and so do you.

I know, but fuck it, I'm lazy. Besides, I have creative pursuits to deal with.

Like a stupid Flickr badge?

It is not stupid. OK, it's pretty stupid. I remember now why I hate blogs. I now have one. Shit. I can't stop myself and I'm terrible at it.

Honestly, you probably have few good reasons to think that. Readership has a lot more to do with whether or not you are an attractive female than anything else.

Is a conscience supposed to say things like that?

Oh, come one, read this girl's shit for instance. Trite, boring, sophmoric. 38 comments. How is it different from Anaglyph's or any other dude's blog?

Uh, it sucks?

Right. Do you see what makes a good blogger now?

Smileys and LOL variants? Mispellings and boring, geocentrist material?

You forgot over-use of elipses. No, cute snapshots of a girl. I don't know why I bother with you. ROTFLOL ;D

Ha. I wonder, does that mean people are actually rolling around on the floor laughing an ass off and whatnot? I'm just saying it all seems hyperbolous and you know how I, we, hate that shit. Want some wine? I heard that makes me easier to deal with. ^_^

Nice. Give me some of that shit. Woah, that's nasty. Yeesh, what the hell is this shit? Goddamn.

California Delicious Red. It's more pinkish and definitely not delicious. I'm just glad they didn't throw some snob-barrio Spanish in there and call it "Vino Colorado".

Pinkish wine. Ha, I hate Californians. You got any Wild Turkey?

California hating and bourbon? Wrong website, buddy.