Tuesday, May 23, 2006

They have won...

I recieved a booklet at work today. It is supposed to help me reach my potential as a member of that particular team.

I wonder what it is about corperate employers that make them want you to feel twelve years old. I have worked construction trades before, as well as a slew of other manly jobs where my boss lives in the same town as me. Never once did I feel like I was a middle school student instead of an employee. I am perfectly capable of understanding philosophies, mysteries, and some religions. I believe I can understand how a warehouse/package store stays in business. I don't need remedial grown-up classes.

The title of the book?

How To Be Orange Everyday

That really is the title to a booklet I'm supposed to carry around in my big, orange apron. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Or drink. Drinking sounds nice. Too bad I have to be rolling into work at 9:30 p.m.

And I do hate drinking a six in the morning. On the other hand, what goes better with my huevos rancheros for dinner than a good stout?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I found the sequel "How To Be Prussian Blue Each Evening From 7.30 to Midnight" much more fulfilling.

And it went better with my dark blue cowled cape.

Anonymous said...

A middle school student? You're lucky. The training on my last job made me feel like I was in kindergarten.

Rock Hammer said...

I found four comma splices, seven fragments, and about four ommited Harvard serial commas. The book is six pages long with no more than three sentences per page.

I wonder who's idea it was to hire Dan Brown to write our motivational literature.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for the film!