Sorry for the Crazy

You'll notice over the next couple weeks that I won't update. There is no need to worry. More than likely I am not dead, though in two or three weeks who knows what can go down.

Basically, I have some shit I need to do. The biggest of it is to get my head back into the game. The real life game, not the Internet and cell phone bullshit game. In fact, I am going on a little bit of a fast. These are important in my raising beliefs. Anytime you felt you had slipped out of touch with God, or you had a general foreboding about the future, or you heard knocks that I won't even bother explaining, you went on a fast. Or when times got tight and you needed the assistance of the Divine. While I don't really believe in God, and don't plan to start, I think the idea is sound. So, I don't believe in that God, don't intend to start, but I'm going on a fast; you may think that is wierd. I assure you, it is not.

Reasons for this are numerous, but one of the most urgent is the need to deal with my own reliance on anything or anyone but myself. I have slowly but surely let the World creep into my life like ivy under a poorly fitted door, creeping across the carpet and around my ankles, far too long. Also, I don't know why, but when I figured out some pretty major symbolism in my odd dreams I speak of in the posts titled Preternothing, I decided never to finish that group of posts.

Anyway, the fast is really just an experiment in fighting a sickness we all have with a remedy handed down from generation to generation in my line. Feel free to use alcohol or other chemistry experiments when you deal with yours.

So, to sum it all up, food is not on the menu for a while. I could stand to lose a few, anyway. The other aspect of the fast is media.

I will be away from any form of electronic communication for a while, save the half hour I have allotted myself for returning calls and checking email (nothing important gets to me in a steel mail box, so this is necessary) every other day. I will commence this at 2100 today and keep it going until I feel like stopping. I may throw in a quick update at the end of a week or so if its still going, just to check in. I will be, for the most part, off the grid unless you email me and I have time to get to it. I'm also limiting personal visits and social gatherings. TV is out, though I never watch anything but PBS anyway, and music not produced in my vicinity by fingers on strings is not going to be listened to. In other words, I'll be my own company for the next little bit. I feel scared about this. It's a little like going around the dark side of the moon.


Which is exactly why I'm doing it.

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I have to admit now, at the 25 minutes till phase that I'm questioning the whole thing. Since I have no answers to those questions and no one to call within the next 24 minutes to ask, I'll open them up. That, and it's one last gasp of the self-involvement I am going to have to lose to survive this.

Questions for eventual discussion:

23a. Is Casey really social enough anyway to need a break?
23b. What will keep him alive for the next week?
23c. What implied behaviors are also going to be cut?
23d. What about beer?
23e. Why would a person need to know what they're alike when no one else is around?
23f. Does this have anything to do with being born in a desert?
23g. Are there just no good deserts to walk out in for a while?
23h. Fuck, what if I'm Elijah? Can I handle that responsibility?