I Am Weary

I always knew it would happen, but I didn't want it to happen this way.

No, I wanted the sun to be hailing down from the reaches of an azure high mountain sky while the Monument Valley's thick red sand blows itself over me in a loving embrace of her native son.

I wanted to be out on the raging main throwing my back into jib lines and holding a knife in my teeth, ready to cut myself loose to fall and fall away into the final deep black of our halide original dreams.

I wanted to be off into the Revolution of some people against some government where I would fight and win and lose, finally whiling away my time in some far arroyo with a woman I make my own with skin the color of sun polished bronze and eyes that show you the world in their onyx sheen.

I wanted to be surrounded by a brood and grandbrood and great grandbrood of my descendants who would gather around me and ask me if I saw God in the failing twilight of my rheumy eyes, and I would tell them that I saw him everyday in the wrinkled hands of an elder and the pink powdered skin of a newborn.

I now face it down. I am staring down the bore of life's final stunt to get our attention before Life swallows us back into the bowels of its forever engine. It won't come how I planned, it will come while I am broke and poor and smell like a mediocre dopplebock. tonight, I will pull my guitar to my heart and tell her 'through the years, you've always loved me, and my life you tried to save. But now I shall slumber sweetly, in a deep and lonely grave.'

My eyes close as the moon rises and the stars navigate the sailors on the sea.

Of course, a person could say I am making way too big a deal out of a head cold. Those people are the ones refusing to send me baked goods. I will curse them to the valkryes tonight!

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I Am Weary (Let Me Rest), Traditional