Arguing 101

She's pretty and pregnant, petite and puttering around her new home, nesting you could say, "They have that new law trying to be put through, you know, the marriage defense thing. Where they say that marriage has to be between a man and a woman only."

"I have no problem with them calling marriage any way they want, but it's only fair to make sure gay people get the same benefits and legal status as married people. They can call it whatever they want."

The husband speaks, "Well, it isn't like they're discriminating against Black people or anything, it's a lifestyle choice."

"I don't know, man, it seems like most of the gay people I know would never have been anything else."

"Maybe", he says as he sits down across from me with his Memorial Day barbecue, a glowing new father, alive with the joys of family, "but I mean, it's natural for me to molest kids, too."

Something went wrong with this conversation somewhere. That's a pretty invalid simile.

I say: "My biggest problem with it is government over-jurisdiction."

"Meaning?"

"Well, you obviously love your wife and you guys have a pretty good life going..", he nods and reaches out an arm to hug her around her bulging, pregnant hips, "...do you think you're truly married?"

"Absolutely."

"Then do you really want the Government defining to you what your marriage is?"

"As long as it's a moral definition. That's the whole purpose of Democracy."

"What if you weren't in the majority? I mean, do you want it just being a consensus of more than 51% that defines what everything is to you? I personally would rather the Government stay out my shit and not overstep its bounds."

At my profanity, hardly noticeable elsewhere, the little wife went pale and began chopping at the greasy dishes with a disassociated ferocity.

"See, that's why you have to elect moral lawmakers."

"But who's morals? I mean, you have to respect that not everyone agrees with you. If you expected to be in the majority in this situation, wouldn't you have to consider how others would like to be treated?"

Surely, quoting the central figure to his belief would make rationality reign.

"No, not as long as you're making a morally sound law."

"Do you want the Government defining morals? That scares me."

"Well, you have to make sound moral, Biblical laws for God to keep blessing your country. If you don't, he'll punish you, and your country will suffer. It's only because America is still so strong and faithful to God, like we've always been that we're where we are now."

"There's no way I can argue with that line of reasoning."

He smiles kindly, "See, it all makes sense when you get back to the basics."