Thursday, October 05, 2006

Prinipia Methodologican Petronity

Or: Spritual Geology

I, Cassius, son of Locomotus Truckae, Son of The Most Mightiest, have been visted by the angel Cassiterite, who smelled of sulfur and had impressive dual octagonal and mackeled breasts. After noticing my vector of eye, she smite me for looking at her twins. She hath given one or several revealed manifestations that may or may not be secret until the end of the Age Suburbia. This is important, or it may not be. As it were, all spelling mistakes are property of her mackel breasted self.

Manifestation Unit of Truthicality I:

We are all mostly oxygen, with some other stuff, too. Or not.

A. This is important, though may not be, because oxygen has an atomic number of eight. Originally, there were eight aliens who made it off the "Ark" and started making whiskey in Turkey. These aliens were part of a "Homestedd reelokashun" plan, as you should already know from your learning institutions.

B. Oxygen, when combined with the principle building blocks of this earth makes them sort of flaky. In fact, this is also a race of aliens. I know Flaky people. They obviously are alien Homestedders. They should make whiskey, but do not. They used to, when they immigrated to the Southeast and they interbred until, even today, they are still at least a little Flaky. Though sometimes they are not.

C. The earth is principly formed up Eyerun. When thrown together with Flakies, it produces Fe2O3. When The Green Cactus Monster taketh away the Flakies and the Eyerun, it leaves but 2 and 3. The last days approach when 23 holy cows are, or won't be, abducted by these new Homestedders, as they will mistake the cows for your average caucasion at that point in history.

That is the word of Cassiterite. Or it may be not.

Note: So, at the reccomendation of Anaglyph, I decided to check out Discordia because of the truly disturbing frequency of "23" in my life as of late. And I figured since Australians invented cheese, they can't be all bad. My tireless research, exclusively in Wikipedia while I ate Doritos, led me to the Principia Discordia. I had to quit reading about the point they mention baptizing the dead to redeem them to the Green Cactus Monster. I am in a library, after all. That is when Austin Nichols shew himself to me and introduced Cassiterite. Her boobs were pointy and vaguely botryoidal. Feel free to introduce this new belief system into the Big W.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The first (and possibly only) recommended access point for Discordianism is Robert Anton Wilson's universe-tilting 'Cosmic Trigger'.

It does help if you are A: Young, and B: digesting peyote.

Nevertheless there are fascinating trips through many illuminating, and at times scary, lands.

Robert Anton Wilson, sometime friend of Timothy Leary and acolyte of Alistair Crowley, at this time lies dying, destitute and ill. It's hard from this angle in this materialistic and rationalist modern world to estimate the effect that RAW had on the burgeoning conter-culture of the late sixties and early seventies. But it was not insignificant.

He would have been amused to note that as we began to discuss Discordianism and the number 23 his name once more popped into the zeitgeist...

Rock Hammer said...

I've read a little of his work and am always impressed. I knew about, just the name really, Discordianism, but never went past that. I love that it's so irreverent. I also love that I am now a pope.

Let the excommunications begin!

Anonymous said...

Ave Pope Casey! Vox illuminatus! In vino veritas!

Rock Hammer said...

Goddamn right. First, all russian nuns must be turned over to me.