ECON 101

October's over, and all told not as terrible as it has been. You may thank one Jen for your not being subjected to sad and rambling missives on why everyone sucks and everything is fucked. And that was indeed a Limp Bizkit quote. I submit that I am the first in my circle of friends to ever use the genius of Mr. Durst in a post.

Now, I have a few things to get off my chest. One:

The GI Bill is not as great as cracked up to be. I would like to see the person who actually manages to go to school on that amount. Last I checked, you could expect to spend something like sixty grand on school, and by my reckoning, $1075 a month for 36 months works out to $38,700. Now, if you figure on living incredibly light and only spending $400 for rent (which means you live in a lungbox and you're spending $150 keeping it warm enough not to freeze the pipes), and only spending around $150 a month on food (a near impossibility), you can figure on tuition and fees being around $250 a month and you have exactly 125 dollars for every month. Now, let's assume you have something like a car to insure ($40) and a phone bill ($75), that leaves a hefty ten bucks a month sitting in the old pocket. Which means you may purchase one 24 pack of PBR a month. That works out to an average of .789 beers a day. That fucking sucks. Obviously, a plan B is in order.

So, let's say you use some of that $150 on food stuff that is not immediately edible. Let's say you spend some of it on barley, a little on malt, a touch on yeast, and the rest on little flower pellets called hops, you just spent $30 give or take. Fucking sweet. Considering that that thirty dollars of random grain and floral products produces five (5) gallons (U.S) of prime malt liquor beverage, you now have the equivalent of five twelve packs. Figuring on how a twelver of any beer worth drinking is no less than ten dollars, you figure on saving around thirty cents or so a beer. Not to mention that you have a two month supply that easily gives you a beer a day, or my preference, two beers every other day.

Sure, that's fifteen (15) loaves of Albertson's brand wheat bread or thirty (30) lbs. Of zucchini that you won't have, but beer provides quite a few nice little calories and some liquid caramel inspiration.

So, there is my rational explanation as to why I have five gallons of brown percolating liquid in my laundry room and 40 bottles of a porter I managed to cajole up to 13-14% alc. By vol.