Fuck you, merle haggard

One of them cold nights. I've got rid of the last of the porter. The hard way.

Now, the problem with these cold nights is that I am freezing in this drafty house all on my lonesome. When I could be holding you tonight, doing wrong instead of doing right. Fuck all, she don't care what I think. I'll just sit here and...Take it, Merle.

Jesus, them beers is rough. I think my left eye just quit working. If it's working, it ain't pointing right. Bad alcohol can make an eye go wobbly. Four beers of this stuff, the equivalent of about 10 American light beers, is definitely enough to knock a screw loose. When did they start putting gay Phil Collinsesque saxophone solos in country? I'm talking ot you, Merle. Jesus, man, i thought you was on my side. Apparently not. Fucking Merle.

We were friends, man. Remember the old Ford? The '70 with the cranked out 302 with the four on the floor? Of course you don't. You were only there in cassette form. motherfucker. Merle will no longer be capitalized on this here blog. Nope.

The song used to could get me a little happy, then I heard this extended version where you turn into gotdam Huey Louis and the News. Ain't no woodwind gonna change the way I think.

I think I'll just sit here and drink.

Now, take a motherfucker who used to blast out of a rigged up stereo around diesel fuel and wood pallet holocausts out in the desert. you'd think the guy would be a little more of a Hank Williams kind of guy. Fuck, man. Settin' the Woods On Fire. Now, there's a song. No long ass solos. Leave that shit to rock music. We'll order up two bowls of chili. Settin' the Woods on Fire. Shit, man. Pyromania that all ages can enjoy!

I am aware that my membership in the Hank Williams Sr. Fanclub cements me in the throes of the absolute uncool. Fuck you. Besides, I think the mineralogy thing pushed me way over that line long ago.

I had a point. God, my left eye is not working. Surprisingly, since I am a rightie, my left eye is the dominant one. Makes firing a rifle a little bit of a challenge. With a shotgun or pistol, I am a fucking surgeon. At least when I'm sober.

Me and my buddy James used to go out to the Kings River and take a 24 pack of Natty Light and a 12 guage. The game was, drink a can of beer and then throw the can up in the air and shoot it. Yay! Obviously, by the time we killed most of the case, the game got more challenging. We ammeded the rules to mean the can had to actually sink in the river. So then even when we missed (because we were drunker than shit) we could just run up to the bank of the river and plug the thing full of lead until it sank. I fell in once. I think that one was one of our multiple case days. I woke up in a tree. Long story, but suffice it to say, I had some issues to work out.

Part of the long story is a woman, and the other part is some serious "Fuck, I killed a lot of poor religious (much like my kin)folk" issues. I forget exactly where those two intersect. Something about supporting freedom and democracy around the world or something. Hoorah!

Anyway, I am having trouble typing. thanks, merle. Asshole.