Metadrinking

Have you ever let a handy societal metaphor just slide right by because you didn't have the skill to use it? For instance:

Last night, I was feeling a little down, so I went for a long walk to return an overdue book and pick up another I had been half-heartedly wanting to read. Now that I see the book has been made into a movie starring a boring action movie guy who made his career off of trite teenager pandering hip-hop and murdering the legacy of Asimov, I feel it is a priority. Unfortunately, when I got to the library, it was closed (I'm sure some huge proportion of librarians are in fact combat veterans and deserve the day off) so I went to the bar.

At the bar, I experimented with their homebrew stout, it was OK, if a little too rich a malt. Then I tried their bitter, it was OK, but to hoppy for an ESB. On the TV, since I was too early to watch the (professional) football game, I settle for watching the Air Force v. Army game. The Air Force beat Army pretty handily, at least while I was watching. The victors were restrained in their celebrations by military bearing, which is refreshing compared to the rest of the NCAA where every third string defensive end has a signature endzone routine.

Once I had drank the two beers, I settled up with the card I had just activated and walked out into the night. On the way, I stopped for a pint of bourbon. I stopped and talked for a minute to my friend's sister as she exited the college library where she had been studying. Her husband will be home from Iraq before Christmas.

So, three loyal readers, start spitting out some good English major type dubious metaphors from that.