I Am Argumentative
At some point I will have truly given up on this semidaily vomitous mass of words and I will start doing what I have wanted to do all along: just pass on links from The Onion.
I have read The Onion now for years. A friend of mine used to have a subscription and quite a bit of CPSD 51's Internet resources were dedicated to downloading their Statshot and Infographic features. I don't think I have a sense of humor of my own, I just adopted snide Tom Servo lines and memorized swaths of The Onion.
What truly makes The Onion funny as I get older and maybe more mature is the parallels I can find between the universe of my favorite root vegetable and my own life.
They have an article running right now entitled Area Man Somehow Roped Into Arguing Passionately For Green Day. I don't think you'd ever catch me arguing over Green Day, but this situation has become exceedingly common in my life. I find myself defending thoughts and practises that i really don't even like. Maybe it's because so many of the subjects are related to a demographic I pretend to identify with.
I have found myself in loud and impassioned arguments over the validity of oil-assist twin turbos in the International 6.0 Powerstroke. I don't give a shit about that engine. I don't even forsee a time in my life where I would spend the amount of money required to purchase a vehicle so equipped. Independent front suspension? Hate it. Don't know why. 7005 aluminium tubing? Yeah, just try to talk some shit about it. Go ahead, seriously. I will end up defending the crap.
I find myself defending entire genres that I hate. (CAUTION: MUSIC SNOBBERY) Country music is complete garbage. That is a lie, country music is by and large garbage. I bounced in a country bar, I have half of Nashville's catalog memorized and I hate every pandering bullshit lyric. But let someone say Hip-Hop is better. I will be spewing the musical equivalent of Luther's Diet of Worms speech. Why? I don't know.
I will argue the validity of motorsports. Specifically NASCAR, especially if someone is making disparaging or downright cruel remarks about the fanbase of the sport. I don't give two shits about NASCAR. I don't really care about that many practises or issues enough to hate them. Or love them. Why do I keep doing this?
I mean sure, everyone knows Soccer is pointless and boring and a game of sissies, do I have to find new reasons that are intellectually qualified to dislike the "sport?"
8 comments:
Oh. You and I would have to have some words over soccer.
The music snobbery? I can handle that.
Are you argumentative by nature? Weirdly enough, I appreciate that in people.
Bring it. I have power points, graphics, expert witnesses, and a multi-point catered weekend seminar designed to enumerate the ways soccer is ushering in the apocolypse. An armageddon of smelly kids that are too skinny to play football. Or rassle.
As far as the music snobbery, I have to blame that on growing up in a sea of music. Very specific music. And sentence fragments. Hank Williams? Cool. Willie Nelson? Cool. Merle? Cool. Toby Keith? Dumb.
My genetic material was the result of a very complicated sexual selection process in which argument is used as plumage. So, yes, by nature I am an arguer. I can't stand people that won't form an opinion, even if it's an opinion they don't agree with.
And thus I conclude the response that is now longer than the post and comment combined.
Soccer? What is this soccer? Oh, do you mean the game with the round ball? Um, that's actually football dude - ask anyone anywhere in the world! (Except the US and Australia of course.)
Here's an opinion: If you want to see a game for sissies, check out that weirdass one played in body armour and helmets. It took me ages to work out that that game stopped every ten seconds so all them girlymen in their armour could catch their breath...
Australians play football? I thought they just trotted around and said wallaby alot.
Canada as well has the correct idea of what to call football.
I think I may have to form an entire string of posts on how football is better than soccer.
I don't like to argue. I prefer to rant. Feedback is not important to me. In fact, I prefer that no one interrupt my rants. Interrupting me will just cause an argument, and, as I said, I hate to argue.
I enjoy a good rant, the only problem is without the stoking of the fires of argumentative passion by someone else, all of my opinion is drained out by the time I'm done ranting.
A good rant just makes me feel like the guy downtown who talks to his rock all day.
And what's wrong talking to a rock?! I've met rocks with more personality than some people.
I have mentioned previously that I find rocks, mostly the metamorphic partial melts, at least twice as interesting as most of the people I meet.
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