Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Flying V's and Charity Work

This post is in two parts. One is drunken rambling, the other a plea. You figure it out.

Subject One:

I have decided to get published and therefore I need an editor/proofreader sometime in the next week or so. I am serious about the proofreading part. I would prefer someone with an eye for mechanics, word usage, subject/object issues, etc. I like my prose the way it is, so I would only need minimal content direction, probably centered around the fact that I sometimes take vague way too far. Pay is not an issue, because you won't be paid. Obviously, this makes it an imposition if you have a busy schedule and I understand. Blah, Blah, and so forth. Anyway, volunteers should contact me by whatever means get their goat.

Subject the Second:

Albert King is cooler than you. Albert King is cooler than most, so your tears are wasted, mortal. On the eighth day of creation the Serpent tempted woman not with fruit or knowledge, but with the subtle sinew of a fretboard burning up the key of Bb. This is not in your Bible, or in some creation legend from the plateaus of shadowed Ararat. Those legends are fine, imperfect as they are.

Eve, Lilith and the tenderized portions of your mind left open to loving the soft touch and vanilla and quince scent of the one woman you never truly got to know sings in round and full harmonics and symphonics. In the raised voice of a thousand parishioners in the Burning Church of the Mortal Human, you hear the wail of a Gibson Flying V scything down the furrows of brown, sweaty, and slick women with eyes the color of ebony, skin borne of the plains of Mahogany.

The Serpent is the twisted and strained neck, fretted in wire, strings so loose and detuned they hang precariously over the inlaid dots that are meaningless in the note-and-a-quarter bends fluidly draining you of the will to work, pay, or buy. You simply want to give your soul over to all the demoniac passions robbed of you by civilization.

Albert King is the silent dictator of a thousand shining cities where the citizens vie for the chance to cry in the streets. In the palace of the cool, he sits entombed in hazy, smoking tendrils. He brings Hell up to us as a shading cloud and Heaven down from the sky as a flaming pillar of fire. All your lonliness he'll try to soothe. He'll play the Blues for you.

Be awed, mortal. He once shared this Earth with you.

8 comments:

Joey Polanski said...

A Flyin V aint no guitar fer a bluesman.

Leave that to th hair freaks.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the proofing... I'd offer my services but I know there's not a chance in hell I'd get the time in the next week.

Plus, it's not like I've got the chops...

Is Albert King related to George King?

Rock Hammer said...

Joey: Lucy seemed to get the job done for Mr. King, but for the most part you're right. Unfortunately, the freaks and hairies, dikes and fairies seem to have gotten ahold of every good blues guitar so far. Tell me where is sanity?

By the way, I was hopin you could help me with my spellin

Reverend: Um. No.

Now I know where to charge my radionic machine, now. Funny how the 19 holiest mountains are all so close to an international air hub. I'm starting to wonder how you run into these people.

I didn't mean to make it sound so imminent, but I have to have it postmarked by 31 March. I ain't great at SciFi, but I figure it's worth a shot.

Anonymous said...

Mr King is a weird dude alright (George, not Albert). I run into them mostly in bus depots. Or laundromats.

Hey - good luck with the gig. Is it a story or novel length? I could probably scan a story... I'd never get through a novel right now...

Send it to reverend*at*tetherdcow.com

Janet said...

you know that I would love to edit/read/mass produce your work... but you would be at a definite disadvantage. Best of luck.

Rock Hammer said...

Janey: Yeah, I hear you. I hate proofreading because it takes longer than it too the author to write it. To write is human, to edit, devine.

Anaglyph: I will, but it may be a little bit. Actually, it's for the late L. Ron Hubbard's Writers of the Future. I'm not the biggest fan of the genre, but if it gets my foot in the door, I'll take it.

Furtheron said...

Flying V's are not just for the long haired dudes with all that widdle widdly stuff.

Albert King - oh yes. Steven Seagal actually ones an old Albert King '58 V and uses it when recording.

Jimi Hendrix - always headed for a V when playing the blues live. I had the honour and privilege to hold his very own custom V at the Hard Rock Cafe in London in October last year - I'm only just coming down!

Problem with Vs is they ain't very user freindly in a 8ft by 8ft room! Or if you need to sit down and at my age I need to!

But then again a cheap V would be a great add to the collection. Ow pain what's that - oh it's the wife hitting me again! :-)

JillWrites said...

I'm sorry I missed your quest for a proofreader in my week of MIA. If you are still in need or ever are again, just drop me an email. I'm happy to help.